


Seeing Green

by Missy



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Backstory, Biology, Friendship, Frog Dissection, Gen, High School, Humor, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:25:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2841266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gina comes up with a creative way to get out of both doing a biology lab AND handing in her homework, and Jake's along for the ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing Green

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QuantumButterfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuantumButterfly/gifts).



There’s nothing weirder than really knowing somebody at a deep, personal level. There’s a big difference between looking at somebody and understanding how they’re going to react and predicting what they’re going to do in fifteen minutes. With Gina and Jake – thanks to years of friendship and having known each other since they were almost both literally in diapers – they didn’t even have to exchange words to know what the other was thinking. It was like having Wonder Twin powers. Terrible, terrible Wonder Twin powers.

After sharing class space with Gina throughout elementary school, Jake knew that there was no use in arguing with her when she had some harebrained idea. While he was less lazy than she was in the halls of academia, she was the one with the offbeat, artistic vision – and the will to get things done, even if it meant lying.

And so when she came up to him during third period lunch, he was prepared to listen to whatever she had to say. “Jake, how long have you known me?”

“Since you when we were three and we stole some lollipops from the candy store. You still owe me a Blow Pop.”

“Ahh. Good times,” Gina sighed. “So remember that biology test we need to do and that whole icky frog dissection thing?”

“Didn’t you see my shirt?” Jake pointed to his chest; he sported a tee-shirt featuring a frog holding a fork and knife with the legend ‘bon appétit’ underneath it.

“Oh honey, you know you don’t get to eat them don’t you? As I was about to tragically, state, I fear that I totally need your help getting out of it because I didn’t bother to study for it last night because I had something better to do. Oops, but,” she added, “as the good queen Oprah has taught us all, where there’s a will there’s a way and a camera to cry into.”

“What are you thinking?” Jake cringed at her grin. “Whenever you get that look in your eye something bad happens!”

She just patted his shoulder. “Just be a dear and agree with everything I say, all right?”

 

The biology class convened as smoothly as it always did, but just as Miss Okmonek passed out their little frog buddies, Gina raised her hand. “Miss Okmonek,” she said, “Jake and I are protesting your dissection experiment. It’s cruel and unusual punishment and we don’t believe in it.”

Miss Okmonek fixed Gina with the dullest stare ever given to a human being. “Miss Linetti, the frogs are already dead. There’s nothing cruel about taking apart the corpses of said frogs and harvesting them for their internal organs.”

Gina faltered imperceptibly but continued on. “But it would be just as cruel for my French manicure,” Gina added. “Look at these nails, Ms. Okmonek. They’re as flawless as that French goddess Celine Dion.”

“But Celine Dion is Canadian,” said Ms. Okmonek. 

“Can I be excused from this protest? I need to get to gym class in an hour.” Gina stomped Jake’s foot under the desk and he squeaked. “I mean, heck no we won’t go?”

“That’s right.” Gina jabbed her fist in the air. “Solidarity! Fight the power!”

Ms. Ockmonek stared at the two children, tapping her pen against her grade book. “You know that if you don’t agree to take a make-up test I can fail the both of you and force you to take summer classes, right?”

“That’s so Doctor Moreau,” observed Gina sadly. “You don’t even know that you sound like a creepy barbarian.”

“Too far,” Jake hissed.

“Shh,” Gina said, booping his forehead with her index finger. “It’s still too cruel and I’d like to be excused and allowed to do another assignment, which is totally within my rights as a human citizen of the planet earth.”

“And what do you suggest I let you do? Cut apart a MODEL of a frog?” Ms. Okmonkek scoffed. That woman had the weirdest inclination against puzzles.

“Well, that would solve the problem,” Jake spoke up.

“Unfortunately, we have one model for this class – you either slice up the frog or you fail. As I told you it’s a very painless process for everyone involved, Ms. Linetti – even your nails.”

“But…”

“Just close your eyes and think of Kermit.” Ms. Okmonek sighed. Jake watched her deliberately reach for her coffee cup and take a long, deep draught from it. He’d always suspected she’d been putting a little something extra in her afternoon. “I’m going to go to the bathroom, and when I come back I expect to see a an autopsied frog. No more baloney, kids!”

Once the room was empty their fellow students started calmly chatting amongst themselves. But Gina had that look on her face. That determined, semi-creepy look that always kind of freaked Jake out yet totally intrigued him in a really weird way. 

Before he could ask what she was doing she dug around in her purse. She smiled triumphantly, coming up with a nail file. Then, squatting below eye-level, she slipped over to the equipment locker just to the left of the teacher’s desk. One second of fiddling later and she pulled out a packet of saltpeter and sugar, then grabbed the teacher’s booze-filled cup, dumping it quickly into the garbage.

He knew what she was going to do. They’d done it last week in this very class, though not indoors. “No!” Jake squawked. 

“YES!” Gina said, her eyes wild.

Jake ducked under the desk just as he saw a chemical flash and the room filled with thick white smoke.

^^^^

“Oh my God,” Jake muttered, trying to mask his cough as they stood outside of the smoke-laden school. “Saltpeter is SUPER scary.”

“Don’t baby up on me,” said Gina. “It was just a little non-toxic smoke bomb, no biggie mo.”

“Tell that to the police when they find out it was you.” 

Gina shrugged. “Who says they will? I know ways, Jakey boy. Do you know I can make a man’s hair stand on end from four miles away? I have powers that mere men don’t get.” 

“No…but now I totally want you to teach me, it sounds super cool.”

She flopped onto the hood of his car, setting about doing the homework that had started this farce. After a moment of blaring sirens she shut her composition book. “Ugh. Who can concentrate with this noise. I’m going to have to do this at home. Unless General Hospital is amazing, then I’m going to have to do this again tomorrow…”

“TOMORROW?” Jake screeched.

She patted his cheek. “I’m going to go get some fries at the G Stop. Stay gold, Jakey boy.”

Jake groaned and sank onto the car to catch his breath.

But as soon as he managed to do that, he ran off to join her.


End file.
